1 00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:02,636 More lemonade, sir? 2 00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:04,338 Full disclosure, it's a pitcher of water 3 00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:07,608 we can't get the lemon taste out of. 4 00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:09,410 Sir? 5 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,648 Max, either this guy's pretending to be dead 6 00:00:14,682 --> 00:00:16,117 to get out of paying the check 7 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:18,786 or Oleg's chili has killed again. 8 00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,521 This is my Earl mirror. 9 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:23,157 I use it during naps to make sure he's still breathing. 10 00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:25,659 And 80% of the time he is. 11 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,402 Han, there's a dead body at table three, 12 00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:37,771 the saddest place to die other than table two. 13 00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:39,807 Oleg, get out here! 14 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,310 Someone's deader than Max's emotions. 15 00:00:44,312 --> 00:00:47,615 I really should throw away that chili. 16 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:50,451 Let's prop him up outside with a Salvation Army bucket. 17 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:53,421 Whatever he collects, we split in the morning. 18 00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,489 Uh, count me out. 19 00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:58,292 If they catch the five of us with a dead body, 20 00:00:58,326 --> 00:01:01,695 you know they're gonna blame the black guy. 21 00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:06,234 Okay, everyone grab a limb and lift. 22 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:11,572 How's everything tasting? 23 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,807 Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 24 00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:21,081 Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 25 00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:26,220 Max, you're not gonna believe it. 26 00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:28,489 Bobby's in the shower! 27 00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:32,493 That's how much he likes me, he's using our shower. 28 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:35,796 He makes me so happy. 29 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:39,267 Yeah, I heard. 30 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,235 It sounded like someone was trying to connect 31 00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:44,505 with a dial-up modem out here. 32 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:45,873 Sorry. 33 00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,608 That's just what I sound like 34 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:50,411 when I go online. 35 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,813 But really, he makes me feel like that all the time. 36 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,616 He's perfect. We're perfect. 37 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:58,152 Caroline, you shouldn't get too carried away. 38 00:01:58,186 --> 00:01:59,753 Nothing is perfect. 39 00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,623 Except that game I pitched for the Yankees. 40 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,725 Actually, it is perfect. 41 00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:06,360 We're amazing together, 42 00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:08,696 and I really don't want to hear from Negative Nancy. 43 00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:11,432 What the-- who's Negative Nancy? 44 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:15,469 Everyone knows I go by "Negative Juggs McGee." 45 00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:18,739 I'm just saying you don't know him that well yet. 46 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:21,675 I know what this is about, and it's not me and Bobby. 47 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,244 You're worried I'm gonna get hurt 48 00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:24,912 because of what happened between you and Randy. 49 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,747 It's not about that. 50 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:28,282 I just know guys, 51 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,517 and you haven't been in a relationship 52 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:32,753 since Ben was the best Affleck. 53 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,255 Hey there. 54 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:35,956 It's amazing, I'm somehow less clean now 55 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,626 than when I went in. 56 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,228 I gotta get going, babe. 57 00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:41,562 I'll meet you at the dessert bar. 58 00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:43,397 We're having lunch with his mom and his sister. 59 00:02:43,431 --> 00:02:45,233 I'm almost part of the family now. 60 00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:46,800 Well, if you were part of the family 61 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:48,269 you'd be addicted to Diet Pepsi 62 00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:50,271 and get into mall fights on Black Friday. 63 00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:52,540 Then I might be a cousin. 64 00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,375 Oh, you know what? I'll walk you out. 65 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:55,943 If Homeless Larry tries to grab you, 66 00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:57,811 -I can fend him off. -Yeah. 67 00:02:57,845 --> 00:03:00,414 Oh, careful, he's got barbecue tongs now. 68 00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:06,487 Aww. 69 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,821 Look at those two. 70 00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:12,493 That PDA is making me want to M-A-S-T-U-- 71 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,428 Ah, I would stop you, 72 00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:17,431 but I doubt you know what comes after U. 73 00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:20,401 Usually me. 74 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,972 What do you guys want? 75 00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:28,542 Well, we're looking for some entertainment. 76 00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:31,712 Oleg and I have binge-watched everything. 77 00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:34,782 You know, we even watched the Santa Clarita Diet. 78 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,984 Now that's one diet I'm not gonna stick to. 79 00:03:39,487 --> 00:03:42,690 Oh, Bobby must have left his phone here. 80 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,326 -Oh, crap. -What's wrong? 81 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,961 It's a text from Bobby's ex, Jessica. 82 00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:50,331 It says, "Call me about baby." 83 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:53,334 Do Bobby and Jessica have a baby? 84 00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,269 Are they going to have one? 85 00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:58,539 And why does Bobby have a rose gold iPhone? 86 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:03,010 Maybe he got it with his yearly mammogram. 87 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:05,946 I knew this relationship was too good to be true. 88 00:04:05,979 --> 00:04:08,616 Looks like I'm not Negative Nancy, 89 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,752 more like Reality Check Rita. 90 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,422 Then why the hell have I been calling you Max? 91 00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,359 Oh, just a heads-up, 92 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,927 Bobby's family is on its way over, 93 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,530 so any X-rated puppeteering you have to do, 94 00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:23,964 now is the time. 95 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:27,768 Speaking of Bobby and people he knows, 96 00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:31,939 uh, does he still talk to what's-her-name, Jessica? 97 00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,374 Pfft, no. 98 00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:35,543 She is long gone, like my bangs 99 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:38,846 or democracy. 100 00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,414 Bobby never brings her up. 101 00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:42,383 We just talk about our common interests, 102 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:44,084 like how much we like my hair 103 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,886 or how pretty I am. 104 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:47,988 Yeah, but circling back to other people, 105 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:50,424 which is very hard with you, 106 00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:53,527 Jessica, do they talk? Text? 107 00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:55,796 Share custody? 108 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,798 Max, why are you asking about her? 109 00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,401 Jessica is his ex-girlfriend. 110 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,836 All Bobby's ever said about her is that she's a wedding planner 111 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,438 and she's out of his life. 112 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:05,973 I know that's hard for you to believe, 113 00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:08,108 like the moon landing. 114 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,410 Hey! 115 00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:10,978 You never see their faces. 116 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:14,982 They brought back no cheese. Just saying. 117 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:17,518 -Now, please, just drop it. -Fine-ah! 118 00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,387 Fine-ah. 119 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:21,989 Oh, hi, Denise. 120 00:05:22,022 --> 00:05:23,824 Where's your mom and Bobby? 121 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,626 Oh, we don't ride the subway together 122 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,428 in case there's a crash. 123 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,563 Somebody's gotta be around for Black Friday. 124 00:05:29,597 --> 00:05:32,032 Well, now that Bobby's sister is here, 125 00:05:32,065 --> 00:05:34,101 I don't wanna mess up your perfect brunch. 126 00:05:34,134 --> 00:05:36,136 I'm going to the diner, where the only perfect thing 127 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:39,640 is the owl-to-rat ratio. 128 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,509 So you own this place? 129 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,877 Man, I'd love to be my own boss. 130 00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:45,679 Mine treats me like garbage. 131 00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:48,749 If I want to get freaky with the UPS guy on my break, 132 00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,051 that's my time. 133 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:54,121 So what is it you do, besides the UPS guy? 134 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:57,491 I work the counter at the Mail Boxes and Other Things. 135 00:05:57,525 --> 00:06:00,594 It's like Mail Boxes Etc, but we have other things. 136 00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:01,729 Oh. 137 00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:02,896 I know it sounds cool, 138 00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:04,732 but my boss is always on me. 139 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,567 Well, maybe you should talk to your boss. 140 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,969 You know, tell him how you feel, stand up for yourself. 141 00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,571 I'm not great with confrontation, 142 00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:13,474 partially because I had bad depth perception. 143 00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:17,545 Like, I have no idea how far away you are right now. 144 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:22,983 I'm right here. 145 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:25,118 On second base. 146 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,757 Well, I think you're great, 147 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:32,760 and not inappropriate at all. 148 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:35,663 And if your boss can't see that, well, maybe you should quit. 149 00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:40,534 So the gentleman who looked like Abraham Lincoln, 150 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:44,171 was that a hipster or an Orthodox Jew? 151 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,407 Either way, I don't understand why you gave him a dollar. 152 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,112 Mom, I quit! 153 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,784 Wait, your mom is your boss? 154 00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,218 Is it the UPS man? 155 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,555 He's your godfather. It's untoward. 156 00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:02,890 Where's this coming from? 157 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,458 From my new best friend 158 00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,026 and women-in-business mentor, 159 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,929 Caroline. 160 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:15,235 You told my daughter to quit working for me? 161 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:18,071 I'm sure she meant a different Caroline. 162 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,673 I don't know. 163 00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:23,477 Everything got blurry after she touched my boobs. 164 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,617 Han, I'm about to say what you said to me 165 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:31,619 when you were trying to get into an R-rated movie. 166 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,687 I need your help. 167 00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:37,558 I told you three times, I don't fit up drain pipes. 168 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:40,093 Listen, I just saw this text on Bobby's phone 169 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,829 from his ex-girlfriend, Jessica. 170 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:44,164 I think they might have a secret baby together. 171 00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:47,501 Wow, that would really devastate Caroline. 172 00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:52,606 More importantly, Bobby and I are rose gold buddies. 173 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,108 I just have to make sure before I say anything 174 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,276 to panic Caroline. 175 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,845 I need to do some detective work, 176 00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,246 so you and I are gonna go down 177 00:07:59,279 --> 00:08:00,581 to Jessica's wedding planning business 178 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:01,749 and pretend we're a couple. 179 00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:04,652 Obviously I'll be the groom. 180 00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:06,554 Max, this might come as a surprise to you, 181 00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:07,988 but I'm a very busy man. 182 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,591 I don't have time for your sophomoric high jinks. 183 00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:13,126 Uh, that's what they said to Adam Sandler, 184 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,862 and it only made him richer. 185 00:08:14,895 --> 00:08:17,565 I'm flattered I was your first choice. 186 00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:20,534 Man, she asked me five people ago. 187 00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:22,603 I think she was down to you or a broom, 188 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:25,873 and the broom was busy. 189 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:29,610 If I'm doing this, we have to use our best acting skills, 190 00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:32,846 'cause who's gonna believe you landed me? 191 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:36,817 Ugh, really wish Steve the Broom didn't have Pilates at 4:00. 192 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,855 I'm so sorry, Mrs. Ferraro. 193 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,857 I had no idea you were the awful boss 194 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:46,760 that was making her life miserable. 195 00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,061 Bobby, why didn't you tell me 196 00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:50,130 your mom owns a Mail Boxes and Other Things? 197 00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:53,100 I didn't want you to date me for the unlimited bubble wrap. 198 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,569 Denise can't cope out in the world. 199 00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:56,804 You know how many times she's touched 200 00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:58,171 our neighbor's electric fence. 201 00:08:58,205 --> 00:08:59,907 To be fair, they installed it 202 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,075 to keep her from falling in their pool. 203 00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:04,612 Well, you did this. You take care of it. 204 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:05,946 She's your responsibility now. 205 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,982 Bobby, bring home some deserts for me. 206 00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,318 From Dunkin'! 207 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,153 Bobby, I am so sorry. 208 00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,689 I don't want our first fight to be over a misunderstanding. 209 00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:17,290 I want it to be about something important, 210 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:19,793 like if you want a soul patch. 211 00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:21,361 We're not fighting. 212 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,763 This is a bump. 213 00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:24,665 I think you're overreacting. 214 00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:25,966 Then why are you yelling? 215 00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,668 I'm not yelling. 216 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:30,604 Man, what's with all the yelling? 217 00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:34,875 Oh, Oleg, let's see where this goes. 218 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,211 It's already better than everything on Amazon. 219 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:41,214 Just with it was a little bit more Game of Thrones-y. 220 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,784 And by that, I mean a little more topless. 221 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:47,655 And by that I mean, oh, oh, Bobby. 222 00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:50,023 Caroline, we're not fighting. 223 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:52,359 But please, don't get in the middle 224 00:09:52,392 --> 00:09:54,027 of my ma and Denise again. 225 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:54,895 My aunt tried once. 226 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,665 Now she's really scared of ceiling fans. 227 00:09:57,698 --> 00:10:00,834 I gotta go. I still can't find my phone. 228 00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:03,704 Oleg, this is our new show. 229 00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:07,040 Grab the popcorn from my purse. 230 00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:10,277 You want cheddar cheese or kettle corn? 231 00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,680 You know I can hear you, right? 232 00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:16,917 Okay, this must be Jessica's office. 233 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,252 Oh, here, better put this on for the bit. 234 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:21,188 This was smuggled out of North Korea 235 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:24,925 by my great-grandfather in his great backside. 236 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,861 Oh, the classic tush cut. 237 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:31,131 Now remember, we're detectives. 238 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:34,234 We're like Cagney and the only guy I could get to come with me. 239 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,337 Hi. 240 00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,740 You must be Max and Han. 241 00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,742 I'm Jessica. 242 00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,310 Thanks so much for coming in. 243 00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:46,179 Oh, you guys are so super cute. 244 00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:51,284 How does our cuteness compare to, say, a baby? 245 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:53,053 Wow, you're thinking ahead. 246 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,756 Or are you expecting a little one? 247 00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:59,259 Ha, I've already got a little one. 248 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,028 What about you? 249 00:11:01,061 --> 00:11:03,430 Making fun of my size is kind of our thing. 250 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:06,066 Like, making sweet love. 251 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:13,707 So I'm with child. Are you? 252 00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:15,743 Actually, I'm-- 253 00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:16,944 So for the wedding, 254 00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:18,946 I was thinking of a nature theme. 255 00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:20,914 Something in the park, whimsical of course, 256 00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,316 with lanterns and flowers, a big tent. 257 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,052 Oh, oh, really? 258 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:28,288 You want a big top, Pee-wee? Jessica was talking. 259 00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:29,890 Sorry, dear. 260 00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:32,860 The old ball and chain hates when I get a word in. 261 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:36,196 Sign me up for a lifetime. 262 00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:38,331 Sorry, uh, I missed what you were saying 263 00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,967 about having a baby. 264 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,935 We're not here to talk about me. 265 00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:44,037 Let's talk about you and your affair. 266 00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:47,841 Oh, I'm definitely gonna have one. 267 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,947 Thanks for texting, Caroline. 268 00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:57,017 I've been a little lost since you made me quit my job with Ma. 269 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,853 Mostly 'cause I couldn't find the L train. 270 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,856 But I saw a guy kill a chicken. 271 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:04,958 I thought you and I could get together 272 00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,960 and figure out your next career move, 273 00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:11,064 which does not necessarily need to be forward. 274 00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:13,000 No, I'm not going back to my ma's store 275 00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:15,168 no matter how much I miss hiding in boxes 276 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:16,970 and scaring people. 277 00:12:17,004 --> 00:12:20,774 Well, let's brainstorm on your next career move. 278 00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,075 Hmm. 279 00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:25,012 I've always wanted to be a model. 280 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:28,015 I've been told I look great with my pants down. 281 00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,920 You are more than just a body. 282 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:36,189 Hmm, sometimes I'm not so sure. 283 00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,125 Hey, what about working here? 284 00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,928 How hard can it be? You do it. 285 00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:42,495 Actually, this job requires a lot-- 286 00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:44,131 You don't have to talk me into it. 287 00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:45,365 I'll do it. 288 00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:48,135 Give me the Frisbee with the drinks on it. 289 00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:51,271 Okay, I guess you could help out until Max gets back. 290 00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,440 Or until someone gets hurt, probably me. 291 00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:58,345 As magic hour descends over the city, 292 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:01,414 Max and I will retire to the honeymoon suite 293 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:05,552 where she carries me over the threshold. 294 00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:08,922 Excited for what's to come. 295 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,291 Well, it's not gonna be either of us. 296 00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,296 So, uh, back to you, Jess. 297 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:18,565 Ooh, the party favors could be little compasses 298 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:21,368 that lead you to your table. 299 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:25,205 Or to a waiting escape boat. 300 00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:28,008 Are you sure you two are right for each other? 301 00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,576 Are you kidding? 302 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:33,046 I am obsessed with him. 303 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:37,217 We're two people madly in love. Right, Max? 304 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:41,188 Bring those lips over here and... 305 00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:46,293 don't forget to invite your tongue to the party. 306 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:51,464 Oh, I'm sure she can see we're in love 307 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:55,235 without having to put our mouths on each other. 308 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,270 Please. 309 00:13:57,304 --> 00:13:59,339 She's shy. Once she starts, 310 00:13:59,372 --> 00:14:02,409 it's hard to put the snake back in the can. 311 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,375 Could you feel the heat from where you are? 312 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:40,047 Are you wearing lip gloss? 313 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:42,449 Listen, I've been down this road before. 314 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:44,517 With a stroller? 315 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:47,988 I'm just asking because that's how I push him around. 316 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:50,457 This wedding isn't making it to the banquet hall. 317 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,625 I don't even think it's making it to the car. 318 00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,262 -You two should go. -Ah. 319 00:14:55,295 --> 00:14:57,264 You're moody. 320 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:02,669 Uh, are you pregnant? 321 00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,037 Meh? 322 00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,478 Are you sure you want the flantinis? 323 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,947 Little tip, go buy yourself a tub of Breyers 324 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:17,117 and a bottle of vodka and save yourself 30 bucks. 325 00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:20,687 Okay, let's go back over this. 326 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:24,524 The job of a waitress is to get people to buy things here. 327 00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:27,227 Also you're standing on my feet right now. 328 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,597 Are you sure? Because I don't feel anything. 329 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:33,433 Gosh, you know what? Denise is my favorite character. 330 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,069 I bet you she looks like a million bucks 331 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:38,171 with her pants down. 332 00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:40,073 You know who looks like 2 million bucks 333 00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:43,110 with her skirt around her ankles? 334 00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:45,012 How--how-- 335 00:15:45,045 --> 00:15:48,081 How did I get so lucky? 336 00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:52,519 There she is, 337 00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,587 my big shot daughter who doesn't need me anymore. 338 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:58,625 And the woman who keeps taking my babies from me. 339 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,627 I'm getting a drink. 340 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:04,331 Oh, great, now they're all working here. 341 00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:06,466 Denise called my ma to brag about her new job 342 00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:07,400 at your dessert bar. 343 00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:10,270 Bobby, I know you said not to get involved, 344 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,072 but I wanted to end our fight. 345 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:15,608 Also, I think your sister may have broken my pinky toe. 346 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,244 Oh, that's my fault. 347 00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:19,212 I didn't teach you the stop sign when she gets too close. 348 00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:22,215 Am I too close? 349 00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:25,518 FYI, Ma, it's going great here. 350 00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:27,487 Well, if things are going so great, 351 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,289 why don't you get your own place 352 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,491 and start toasting your own waffles in the morning? 353 00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,493 Maybe I will. 354 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,362 Maybe I'll move in with Caroline, 355 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:38,131 and she can teach me how to use her toaster oven. 356 00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:41,201 We actually have a pretty small place, 357 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:43,103 and our toaster oven is being used 358 00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:46,406 as a tanning bed for mice. 359 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,608 Oleg texted me this show was good. 360 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,044 I just finished The Walking Dead. 361 00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:54,647 It hit a little too close to home. 362 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,216 Yeah, have a seat. 363 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:58,351 The crazy mom just showed up. 364 00:16:58,385 --> 00:17:01,788 And the hot sister is yelling at her. 365 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,523 Caroline! 366 00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:07,660 I'm not being negative, but Bobby's a dirtbag. 367 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,130 I'm 100% sure he has, had, 368 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:13,733 or is going to have a baby with Jessica. 369 00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:21,441 And I'm 100% sure I'm gonna have a cold sore in the morning. 370 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,610 Baby? What's going on? 371 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:25,312 Bobby, what is going on? 372 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:29,382 This really is the golden age of TV. 373 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,418 Max, what are you talking about? 374 00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:34,154 I'm talking about the text I saw on your phone 375 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,656 from Jessica about your baby. 376 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,426 What are you doing with my phone? 377 00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:41,461 Bobby, do you have a baby with Jessica? 378 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,563 Bobby, you have a baby with Jessica? 379 00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:46,833 That takes the sting out of losing Denise. 380 00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:49,169 A baby? I don't have a--oh. 381 00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:51,738 Oh, wait. I have a cat. 382 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:54,541 A cat named Baby with Jessica. 383 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:56,209 Ohh. 384 00:17:56,243 --> 00:17:59,212 Ohhh. 385 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:03,316 So what's happening around here? 386 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,252 Why didn't you just ask me? 387 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:08,188 Because I was respecting your boundaries, 388 00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:11,324 which is why I stole your phone. 389 00:18:12,692 --> 00:18:13,460 Makes sense. 390 00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:15,295 Her friend here forced my daughter 391 00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:16,696 to abandon the family's business. 392 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,465 Neither one of them knows about boundaries. 393 00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:20,367 I'm throwing these small glasses away. 394 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,369 They're stupid. 395 00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,704 Well, I'm pretty upset myself. 396 00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:29,609 I wasted $20 on the domain name MaxAndHansWedding.com. 397 00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:32,345 We're not really getting married! 398 00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:34,614 We only went to see Jessica to find out 399 00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:37,817 if she had a baby with Bobby, you boobie. 400 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,752 You went to see Jessica? 401 00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,322 Seems like everyone's in a fight except for me and Bobby. 402 00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:44,524 Oh, no, we're fighting now. 403 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,426 I saw that text on Bobby's phone, 404 00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:48,195 and I didn't want you getting hurt. 405 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:49,762 The only person who got hurt was me. 406 00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:52,232 I kissed Han on the lips. 407 00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,534 Ohhh. 408 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:57,770 Max, you stalked his ex-girlfriend without me? 409 00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:00,407 Pretty shady move by your friend, Caroline. 410 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,243 We may want to think about finding another roommate. 411 00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:05,245 Okay, that's enough. 412 00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,947 Denise, you need to go back and work for Ma, 413 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,782 and not only because that's the only job 414 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,251 you're capable of doing, 415 00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,320 but also 'cause Ma's lost without you. 416 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,322 And, Max, you need to trust 417 00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:16,923 that I'm not like every other dirtbag. 418 00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:19,892 And, Caroline, when two people love each other, 419 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:22,362 they're gonna fight. 420 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:25,265 Are the two people that love each other us? 421 00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,667 Don't get bullied into anything, Bobby. 422 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:31,238 Of course I'm talking about us. 423 00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,573 I love you, Caroline. 424 00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:39,846 I love you, too. 425 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,281 Great. 426 00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:42,782 Two white people falling in love. 427 00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:45,285 You don't ever see that on TV. 428 00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:50,557 You know what, Ma? This place is dumb. 429 00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:53,760 I'll come back and work at Mail Boxes and Other Things. 430 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,828 You know what? 431 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,630 You're the other thing. 432 00:19:57,664 --> 00:19:59,566 Come here. 433 00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:06,506 Oleg, get the butt wipes out of my bag. 434 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,541 This is a real tear-jerker. 435 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:12,379 My second favorite kind of jerker. 436 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,347 I should get going, too. 437 00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:15,948 I gotta check some text messages. 438 00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:19,319 And why is my screensaver a shirtless Vin Diesel? 439 00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:21,621 You're welcome. 440 00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:26,693 You know trust is hard for me. 441 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,829 That's why I got kicked out of Cirque du Soleil. 442 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:34,000 You're the first person in my life I can actually count on. 443 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,903 Be so great if they made out right now. 444 00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:42,008 You were the first person I could count on, too. 445 00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:44,777 I love you, Max. 446 00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:49,649 Okay, we're not there yet.